Cailey is having difficulties with the other little girls her age in the neighborhood. Part of me dismisses it as the age (11-year-old girls never get along, do they?) but I also recognize a certain character trait at play. One that often gets me in trouble. Cailey cannot keep her mouth shut. She cannot keep her mouth shut when she gets mad and calls someone a name. She cannot keep her mouth shut when she sees someone treated unfairly. She cannot keep her mouth shut when she disagrees (and her opinion is always right). She cannot keep her mouth shut just to keep everyone happy and therefore remain a member of the coveted in-crowd. And my baby girl is learning the inevitable consequences of a big mouth.
I know the feeling well.
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About a month ago the topic was brought up in my Sunday School class about that Carrie Underwood saying she supported gay marriage. The question was posed, ‘Why is it the younger generation thinks gay marriage is okay?’ and several heads turned in the new girl’s direction. After getting over the little thrill that I was the younger generation they were referring to, I almost smarted off, ‘Because we get that the whole point is to love other people the way Jesus loves us and telling someone they do not have the right to marry the person they are in a committed, loving relationship with doesn’t make them feel loved at all.’ Instead, I smiled my close-mouthed smile and waited for the older, wiser generation to move on to safer waters. And just in case you can’t tell from my criticism, I truly love the people in that Sunday School class. I don’t care at all that they are wrong about some things. They are right about a lot of others and I cherish each one of their sincere hearts.
But it has bugged me to no end that I kept my mouth shut that day. I can’t quit forming new responses in my head (okay, and sometimes out loud when I think no one is watching) that better express the conviction the Holy Spirit continues to place on me about really loving my neighbor as I love myself. I went on a 30 minute rant to Chris just to get my righteous opinion out of my system. I have been anxiously awaiting another opportunity to voice my unpopular, yet well rehearsed thoughts.
I am still waiting.
Except today my 13 and 11-year-old wanted to talk about Chick-fil-a. Of course they did. And I was fairly well prepared for the conversation given my obsession over that lost moment in Sunday School.
It all started with someone looking over my shoulder while I was on facebook (haven’t they invented an eye-rolling smiley face yet?) and that someone wondering why people were so upset about Chick-fil-a opposing gay marriage. ‘Why wouldn’t they?’, Cade wanted to know. ‘It’s totally gross to marry a boy!’ ‘Yeah!’, Cailey agreed (I believe she meant it was totally gross to marry a girl but that is beside the point). I told them many people would agree with them.
But what did I think? (I am truly in love with the world of motherhood where my opinion is ranked above all others)
Let’s say we lived in opposite world (they both shook their heads matter-of-factly) and the people in the church said it was wrong for me to love Daddy and want to spend my life with him. They believed God said it was wrong for us to get married and so there was a law saying we couldn’t.
Well that was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard! Of course it is okay with God for me to marry Daddy. And if Cailey lived in opposite world and she was me, she would marry Daddy anyway (with her ‘and everyone can just go to hell as far as she is concerned’ flip of the hair that is my favorite)
I’m sure that’s how people who love someone of the same-sex feel too.
Cade was off to make himself lunch and Cailey was back into her knitting (or her ‘casting on’ as that is all she does so far – cast on, unravel, cast on, unravel – she is a perfectionist too) because it all made perfect sense now. The idea of gay marriage may be a bit distasteful to my budding teenagers but in no world would it ever be okay for someone to say I did not have the right to marry their Daddy.
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I have not been to seminary and I do not claim to know all the arguments for what the bible does and does not say about homosexuality. I have, however, prayerfully read all the verses (and sometimes chapters) I could find on the subject because I realized I could not defend the position I was taught growing up – that homosexuality is a sin, the bible says so. And I have drawn my own conclusions as to what I believe God intends me to do with these verses. He wants me to do the same thing He wants me to do with the poor, the sick, the needy, the hungry, the destitute, the helpless – He wants me to strive to see my gay brothers and sisters through His eyes and to love them like I love myself. The End.
** below are the verses I read and an article that pretty much says what I would say if I was that smart … and a gay man with a partner named Gary 🙂
Genesis 18:18-25
Leviticus 18:22 (you have to read the whole book of Leviticus to get the full effect – it is something else)
Romans 1:26-27
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
1 Timothy 1:9-10
What the Bible Says – And Doesn’t Say – About Homosexuality by:Mel White
***for the record, I do not plan to boycott Chick-fil-a because they disagree with me.
Water in the Wilderness 
Hum… I thus far disagree with you too, although, admittedly I have not thoroughly read up on the issue. I am just going off of gut reaction on this one… Yes He tells us to love with all our heart, soul and mind… and to love our neighbor as ourselves… But loving them doesn’t mean condoning them right. Because, clearly it is wrong in the Bible… just as it is wrong to steal and murder and covet your neighbor’s wife, and so forth… Some sins seem significantly bigger than others… when really, a sin is a sin. I am not saying to not show gay people love, because I sure as heck want to be shown love as a sinner… But I try my darnedest not to knowingly and willingly sin and I can’t say that it is okay… because it’s not… But I still love them… enough to disagree with them 😉
Yes, but could you be wrong? That is the question i had to ask myself. It is one thing to do the things I feel God is telling ME to do without being 100% sure – it is a completely different thing to tell OTHER people they are sinning against God, and take the chance of pushing them away from God, unless I am 100% sure I am right. And we cannot be sure we are right because while the bible is infallible and perfect in every way, it’s readers are not. The bible has been misinterpreted by well-meaning, intelligent, women and men of God throughout history with devastating results. Did you know there is not a word in the Greek and Hebrew for ‘homosexual’? The words Paul uses in 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy – no one is exactly sure what they mean. They could mean homosexual activity but they could also be talking about pedophiles. I encourage you to read the article I linked to in my post. I am not saying that homosexuality is not a sin – I am saying I don’t know for sure that it is. Until I know for sure, I am not about to condemn anyone for loving who they love and be their stumbling stone on the way to the cross.
Thank you so much for disagreeing – you know I could talk about this stuff all day! 🙂
You will not be a stumbling block the way to the cross. Their sin is doing that for them. You would be a stepping stone. All over the Bible, God says homosexuality is wrong. Homosexuality was one of the reasons Sodom and Gomorra were destroyed. God said men would leave their families to be with a woman. By not telling at the very least trying to witness to them, you have just written your name on their ticket to Hell, and given the world another reason to mock Christians. Many of my friends are gay, but they know how I feel, and I’ve made sure that they know what the bible says and where it says it. I still love them, but I will not and cannot condone what they are doing. So, you wouldn’t be a stumbling stone on the way to the cross. You would be a stumbling stone on the way to Hell.
I appreciate your opinion Colton. I just disagree. Everyone’s sin is a stumbling block that God graciously removes for us through no merit of our own. There are a handful of verses about homosexuality in the bible – and in my opinion every single one is inconclusive. Sodom and Gomorrah were not destroyed because of homosexuality – they were destroyed according to Ezekiel 16:48-49 because: “This is the sin of Sodom; she and her suburbs had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not help or encourage the poor and needy. They were arrogant and this was abominable in God’s eyes.” But even if all the above wasn’t true, even if I did feel homosexuality was a sin – I still wouldn’t oppose gay marriage. It is not my place to judge anyone’s sin that is no different than my own – or yours. We all sin right up to the moment we enter heaven and God sees all of our sin equally. The only way any of us can be a stumbling block to Hell is if by our judgement and attitude toward others we are unable to be used by God to show them the love of Christ – who is the ONLY One who can save any of us. Thank you for your comments. Peace and Blessings to you ~Trish