Cailey is having difficulties with the other little girls her age in the neighborhood. Part of me dismisses it as the age (11-year-old girls never get along, do they?) but I also recognize a certain character trait at play. One that often gets me in trouble. Cailey cannot keep her mouth shut. She cannot keep her mouth shut when she gets mad and calls someone a name. She cannot keep her mouth shut when she sees someone treated unfairly. She cannot keep her mouth shut when she disagrees (and her opinion is always right). She cannot keep her mouth shut just to keep everyone happy and therefore remain a member of the coveted in-crowd. And my baby girl is learning the inevitable consequences of a big mouth.
I know the feeling well.
About a month ago the topic was brought up in myclass about that saying she supported gay marriage. The question was posed, ‘Why is it the younger generation thinks gay marriage is okay?’ and several heads turned in the new girl’s direction. After getting over the little thrill that I was the younger generation they were referring to, I almost smarted off, ‘Because we get that the whole point is to love other people the way Jesus loves us and telling someone they do not have the the person they are in a committed, loving relationship with doesn’t make them feel loved at all.’ Instead, I smiled my close-mouthed smile and waited for the older, wiser generation to move on to safer waters. And just in case you can’t tell from my criticism, I truly love the people in that Sunday School class. I don’t care at all that they are wrong about some things. They are right about a lot of others and I cherish each one of their sincere hearts.
But it has bugged me to no end that I kept my mouth shut that day. I can’t quit forming new responses in my head (okay, and sometimes out loud when I think no one is watching) that better express the conviction thecontinues to place on me about really loving my neighbor as I love myself. I went on a 30 minute rant to Chris just to get my righteous opinion out of my system. I have been anxiously awaiting another opportunity to voice my unpopular, yet well rehearsed thoughts.
I am still waiting.
Except today my 13 and 11-year-old wanted to talk about. Of course they did. And I was fairly well prepared for the conversation given my obsession over that lost moment in Sunday School.
It all started with someone looking over my shoulder while I was on facebook (haven’t they invented an eye-rolling smiley face yet?) and that someone wondering why people were so upset about Chick-fil-a opposing gay marriage. ‘Why wouldn’t they?’, Cade wanted to know. ‘It’s totally gross to marry a boy!’ ‘Yeah!’, Cailey agreed (I believe she meant it was totally gross to marry a girl but that is beside the point). I told them many people would agree with them.
But what did I think? (I am truly in love with the world of motherhood where my opinion is ranked above all others)
Let’s say we lived in opposite world (they both shook their heads matter-of-factly) and the people in the church said it was wrong for me to love Daddy and want to spend my life with him. They believed God said it was wrong for us to get married and so there was a law saying we couldn’t.
Well that was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard! Of course it is okay with God for me to marry Daddy. And if Cailey lived in opposite world and she was me, she would marry Daddy anyway (with her ‘and everyone can just go to hell as far as she is concerned’ flip of the hair that is my favorite)
I’m sure that’s how people who love someone of the same-sex feel too.
Cade was off to make himself lunch and Cailey was back into her knitting (or her ‘casting on’ as that is all she does so far – cast on, unravel, cast on, unravel – she is a perfectionist too) because it all made perfect sense now. The idea of gay marriage may be a bit distasteful to my budding teenagers but in no world would it ever be okay for someone to say I did not have the right to marry their Daddy.
I have not been to seminary and I do not claim to know all the arguments for what the bible does and does not say about homosexuality. I have, however, prayerfully read all the verses (and sometimes chapters) I could find on the subject because I realized I could not defend the position I was taught growing up – that homosexuality is a sin, the bible says so. And I have drawn my own conclusions as to what I believe God intends me to do with these verses. He wants me to do the same thing He wants me to do with the poor, the sick, the needy, the hungry, the destitute, the helpless – He wants me to strive to see my gay brothers and sisters through His eyes and to love them like I love myself. The End.
** below are the verses I read and an article that pretty much says what I would say if I was that smart … and awith a partner named Gary 🙂
Leviticus 18:22 (you have to read the wholeto get the full effect – it is something else)
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
***for the record, I do not plan to boycott Chick-fil-a because they disagree with me.