‘If you have faith and don’t doubt’

The kids and I are in Denver for a few days visiting Chris. He works out here for 2 weeks and then comes home to us for 1. This week is the kids Spring Break so we packed up the car with what looked like everything we owned and headed to see Daddy. I had planned to come earlier this week but there was bad weather and Chris didn’t want me driving over the passes. It totally cracks me up that I drive over mountain passes all by myself now. I am from the piney woods of east Texas! I remember not too long ago getting a thrill driving down the steep feeder road on the way to Mandi’s house.

Chris is sick. I took him to the emergency room once I got here. The doctor thought he had pneumonia at first but after a chest x-ray diagnosed him with severe bronchitis. I love this man to pieces but he sure is ornery when he is sick. Good for me he doesn’t get sick often.

I am glad for the timing of this trip and the distraction of keeping four kids entertained in a hotel (thank you Lord for an indoor pool). If I had stayed home alone, surely I would have been impatiently waiting for a reply to every missions letter I sent out. That sounds like a very me thing to do. But oddly enough, I don’t feel impatient at all. I really haven’t even been thinking about it. I am almost beginning to think I may have finally learned to be patient. Almost.

Every time I do get an e-mail from someone telling me that they most definitely will pray, or contribute, or pass on our letter, or all three – I am completely shocked. Every. single. time. I have these conversations with God…

‘I can’t believe You’re doing it!’

‘I told you I would.’

‘I know and I believed You but …. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE DOING IT!’

Tonight after I made sure my husband took ALL his medicine (it’s a little selfish as he has one of those full body coughs that not a soul could sleep through) and my babies got baths and lathered their poor dry skin up with baby oil and lotion and got everyone tucked into their bed/pallets and said a thirty minute prayer (those kids LOVE praying to Jesus) – I opened my bible and God lead me straight there. To a little story about a withered fig tree …

Then Jesus told them, “I tell you the truth, if you have faith and don’t doubt, you can do things like this and much more. You can even say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.” (Matthew 21: 21-22 NLT)

… ‘if you have faith and don’t doubt.’

What must that be like? To never have any doubt that God will fulfill His every promise? To have complete faith He will do just what He says He will do? I tell myself I believe, I tell God I believe. I tell myself I don’t have any doubt, I tell God I don’t have any doubt. And I really think the whole time that I have complete faith. God knows better.

Because I am completely shocked. Every. single. time.

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