I went to the bank today to see about setting up a Water in the Wilderness account. I just wanted to know what we needed to open one. Well, I got THE bank lady of all bank ladies. I told her my husband and I were trying to go on a mission trip to the Philippines and wanted to keep the money for that separate from our income. Well, that was all she needed to hear. She not only told me what I needed to do – she did it for me. She made sure Water in the Wilderness was not being used in the state of Colorado. It was not. Then she filled out the forms we needed to be a Nonprofit Corporation. Paid the $20 with my debt card and that baby was done in 20 minutes. I did this very same thing in Texas and it took me a good week. I remember being all proud of myself for accomplishing something so big. I’m fairly certain I bragged about myself a little on facebook. Embarrassing.
I wonder if this is what people mean when they say things like, ‘Everything just fell into place’; ‘It was so easy, I really didn’t even have to do anything’ in reference to God being IN something they were doing. Maybe it is too soon to tell for sure but if it is then I must apologize – I thought you folks were full of crap. Or that things that were hard for me were easy for the rest of the world and I just needed to pray more.
Chris and I have been praying about going on a mission trip to the Philippines for AWHILE. Chris said, ‘Yes. God wants us to do this.’
Yes, well, I had heard that before. God also wanted us to start a wilderness youth camp in Wyoming … remember?
I wasn’t so sure. I thought we should read our bibles more and pray in those special positions my friend emailed to me. You think I’m kidding. I am not.
Chris took me to meet a preacher he met on his men’s retreat last November. Mike. He kept saying things like, ‘God told him to go to the train station and stand in line.’ And I am thinking, ‘WHAT? God tells people to go stand in line at train stations? Like THAT clearly and specifically?’ Then Mike tells us how the guy went and stood in line at the train station with no money to pay for a ticket and at the last possible moment, when he was just about to step out of line because he was up next, a guy standing beside the ticket window says, ‘Are you (whatever this guys name was)?’ and the guy says, ‘Yes.’ and then he hands him an envelope and says, ‘Here. God told me to give this to you.’ And low and behold it was just enough money for the ticket he needed to buy. I am all (in my head of course), ‘WHAT!?!?! It seriously happens like that? I must be doing something wrong because God DOES NOT talk to me that way. Like not even kind of.’ Finally, I can’t stand it for one more second and ask (you see, I was trying to not be myself and be quiet and let Chris do the talking. Yeah, that didn’t last long) ‘How do you hear God like that?’ Mike smiles real big and says, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ Oh I like Mike. He then tells me a lot of stuff that is better than how I have had it explained to me before but still a little over my head. From all he said I am fairly certain God talks to you like that when you are praising and worshiping Him.
Now I think I need an instruction video on how exactly I should praise and worship God. I need examples people. I am an example kind of girl.
But maybe it is just one of those things you can’t learn. It’s one of those things you only know it when it happens. Like falling in love. I use to ask my mom, ‘How do you know you are in love?’ She said I would know it when it happened. I hated that answer. But she was right. I fell in love with Chris and I was like, ‘OHHHHHHH, so THAT’S what you meant. You know it when it happens. Makes perfect sense now.’ Or how you don’t know what it is like to be a parent until you are one. You can explain it until you are blue in the face but people just don’t get it until they have a kid of their own. Or when you first realize Jesus is for real and He loves you and He wants to be a part of your life and He freaking really does want to live in your heart. It’s unexplainable.
Maybe that is what is happening. Maybe I am expieriencing the unexplainable. And that is why I avoid this blog like the plague because I can not EXPLAIN what is happening to us. But I feel like I have to try. Just like you try to explain falling in love to your daughter so she waits for that guy, or you try to explain the love you feel for your baby to your sister because you want someone to know that it is like nothing you have ever felt before – it is the best thing yet. Or you try to explain Jesus and what it is like living your life for a God you can’t see because you want them to have what you didn’t know was there but now have found. So, I can’t promise anything but I’m going to try.